29 Jun 2016 – My Search for Meaning

How long will it take you to give up your dreams
so that you can step into your destiny?
Each night since your childhood you’ve replayed these scenes,
accomplishing nothing, feeding your enmity.

Constantly crying “God show my true calling!” –
business cards printed and letter-head ready,
certain the answer in fact won’t be galling,
certain true meaning’s romantic – and heady.

Measure the void between skill and reality,
competence counters your chief aspirations.
Do you despise every gift that comes easily?
Wanting another’s – to your soul’s vexation?

I heard a wise man say: “words are your life work!”
How I despised that! Could THIS be important –
poems flung to deaf ears? A life I’ve spent shirking!
Life force wrung dry in a land so discordant!

I hated small things, my heart longed for grandeur!
How is a life stacking pebbles worth living?
Hating humility – THAT word raised dander –
born in this land to despise lives of giving!

So I kept asking “God, what gives me meaning?”
Never receiving an answer worth hearing,
constantly stirred – and the words kept on singing.
No answer? This? Which one should I be fearing?